Humpty Hump

• weigh in--
  
• workout--
  
• finish laundry--yes i am still working on it
  
• cook dinner
• clean glass table
• add info to sparkpeople
• track my points & calories

feeling really blah and hoping that Wednesday I get more done.

Monday Monday

Sunday was very productive even though I feel yuck. I have been sniffling all weekend. But I will continue on... I felt like it was a good day overall. I feel ready for the week. I am going to change WW meeting from Tuesday to Monday. I will be meeting new people but its cool.

My to do list today 11/08/09

• weigh in--will weigh in WW
  
• workout--
  
• finish laundry--finish up
  
• print packing slips
• cook dinner
• calculate fund raising stuff for daughter
• email/text ppl who ordered
• clean glass table
• add info to sparkpeople
• track my points & calories

Still got the sniffles. I forgot my sudafed and paid the price for it today at work. Oh well.
Work was decent. The people I work with a pretty fun to be around. We laugh and joke and work hard. What more could I ask for, well. a little more money would be nice. :-)

I spent 2 hours of my evening helping book a flight for my mom to come visit. So ironic on so many levels. 1st because her last Christmas visit was a nightmare. She made me so inhappy that I cried a few times. She was no help with the kids. She criticized everything I did and talked about me behind my back bad to my son and my husband. 2ndly because i don't even want her here. I know that she is my mom, but you don't pick your relatives. It is so unfair when she visits. I got so gypped n the parent department. I am so thankful that I am not more screwed up. I am so serious. Did I mention how she was bitching & complaiing the majority of the phone call....? And she didnt even say thank you.

Oh well.... its water under the bridge. 2morrow is a new day.

Exercise and rewards - NOV & DEC 2009

Warmup
• Weekend Recumbent Bike 10 minutes
• Weekday Recumbent Bike 5 minutes

Weekdend cardio
• Sunday CrossTrainer 50 minutes Interval 1-1/10-5
• Saturday XTrainer 30minutes on weight training

Cardio Rotation
• Stairmaster
• Stairstepper
• Rowing Machine
• Treadmill

Rewards by Week
1. Eyebrows waxed
2. Nails
3. Hair
4. Jeans
5. Bra
6. Exercise outfit
7. Massage
8. Body bugg

Breakdown
11/8/09 Week 1 213# 45.9%
11/15 Week 2
11/22 Week 3
11/29 Week 4
12/6 Week 5
12/13 Week 6
12/20 Week 7
12/27 Week 8

Being productive...

My to do list today 11/08/09

• weigh in 213#
• workout--60 MINUTES OF CARDIO
  
• finish laundry--started
• iron clothes for work
• take vitmains
• charge iPod
• print packing slips
• pack gym bag
• cook dinner
• calculate fund raising stuff for daughter
• email/text ppl who ordered
• clean my room
• clean glass table
• add info to sparkpeople
• track my points & calories

11am--workout done, just finishing eating breakfast..now I have to focus on getting things done. My workout was really good. I worked out a nice sweat and really cleared my head. I came up with an incentive list. I wanna workout everyday. For each week that i meet my goal I give myself a reward. The rewards are awesome because they help me treat myself. I think if I treat myself then I will feel more self-worth. I know that lately I have not been feeling like I am as valauble as I know in my heart that I am.

WW vs AA

I have fallen off the bandwagon and I have fallen hard. I can say that I grateful that my drug of choice is food. It is like I sneak around to eat stuff. I think about food way too much. Its really kinda of sad. I am actually really embarassed. I am in the viscious cycle. I eat then I hate how I look and feel. Then I think about working out and sometimes I even work out only to overeat again. It is so not what I want for myself. It is like I give up too easy and do not work hard on getting my life in order.

I read a quote . . . .

If we really love ourselves, everything in our life works. Louise L. Hay

So I guess there is some level of self loathing going on. I know it will not help me reach my goals. I know I can start over at any time. So why not now. Why not here. I want to stop this ridiculous cycle.